good and bad....

so good news first...
i sold a piece from the Forget Me Not show at Gallery Hanahou! so nice to see, really, and i wonder who its was. was it you? let me know if so... the online store is only open for another week so get your embroidery fix here. these pieces are in their shop...

and bad news...
i've put my shop on vacation for a bit. my grandfather is very sick right now, which breaks my heart. i'm so homesick and have planned a trip home ( NY to CA) to be with my family next weekend.

this brings me to the shop. i love my etsy shop. i'm always thinking about how i can grow it. when i'm not making i'm planning and thinking about it. but it takes so much time to make things right, to package orders and organize a small business out of a bedroom in a tiny brooklyn apartment. i stay up every night making/packaging/inventoring (is that a word)/ cleaning up the mess from making/ trying new designs and its killing me.

i'm a serious cry baby and it seems like i'm always working backwards. i try so hard to make things look nice. i stencil my packaging. i'll type a paper twice if it rips- three times if i have to. and it gets to the point where things that should take an hour spiral into 3. and i'm up till 2 am and have to go to work the next day. i have anxiety dreams, like i'll cut 100's of pieces of paper for books and when i'm finished i realize i've measured wrong.

i want to make this work but it is so hard and my mind is else where at the moment. i'm frustrated with the learning curve, with lack of space, with spending so much money to make things and breaking even and living paycheck to paycheck. i miss california. i want to see my family- be with my grandfather.

it makes me really sad to put my "baby" on hold because I don't know when I can come back to her. so the shop must wait, but i hope that i can come back to it refreshed and renewed....

how do you all with shops or other creative endeavors balance it all? do you have day jobs? do you want to be independent and think its a real possibility? how do you have the space to run your businesses?

9 comments:

  1. gurl i love you. Keep your head up. Your work is amazing and my favorite thing about it is the incredible amount of detail you put into it. I'm sure many people can agree. I'm sorry you feel this way! But I know people out there, appreciate the hours you've put into your beautiful work. Dont be discouraged!!!!

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  2. Wow, i just went through the exact same thing... and am still sending packages out late and just hoping people understand...
    I understand what you're going through, completely. I make a mess of my home, every corner seems to be filled with THEOAKLEAVES or my other shop... Every 12 dollar profit i make takes at least two hours, usually more. aaand i also work a nearly full time schedule elsewhere.
    however, i know i can do this. and im quite positive you can do it to. Its always hard for the first few years of any business, especially if you put your heart into it. But if we can tough it out for that long, we'll get there eventually.
    I know it sounds cliche, but after quitting so many times i really just had to teach myself to find the silver lining in everything that happens to me. It can be hard, but it really does help. Anyhow, you have a willing ear right hear if ever you need to whine a little about how overwhelmed you are.
    I hope that you and your grandfather feel much better.

    ~chrisi

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  3. I recently found your blog and Etsy store and love them both. Here's to taking the time you need and hoping that you'll be back when you're ready.

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  4. i'm sorry to hear about your grandfather and i can completely understand how everything can become a sort of whirlwind. somehow it balances. i don't know how but it does. hearts to you :)

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  5. Your work is so lovely. You can really tell that put all your heart and soul into it. I tried for years to make art and do flowers and keep my steady part time job. Then I went and had a baby! Egads!Something had to give...bye bye day job. NY can be a tough place to be creative and independent. Be kind to yourself and be with loved ones. I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa. When you are ready you will come back better than ever! Keep the faith

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  6. Jessica, I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather, it is so right that you should be with your family now. Everything will still be here when you return, we will miss you of course. I too have contemplated shutting up shop and giving up the blog, it is so much work especially if you are meticulous. Do trust that you will continue to build from the dedicated following you already have when you are ready to return. Your work is beautiful, desirable and full of intelligence and soul, never fear it will fly. Give me a shout if I can do anything at all.
    Kisses,
    Lisa
    XXX

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  7. Jessica, I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather, it is so right that you should be with your family now. Everything will still be here when you return, we will miss you of course. I too have contemplated shutting up shop and giving up the blog, it is so much work especially if you are meticulous. Do trust that you will continue to build from the dedicated following you already have when you are ready to return. Your work is beautiful, desirable and full of intelligence and soul, never fear it will fly. Give me a shout if I can do anything at all.
    Kisses,
    Lisa
    XXX

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  8. I'm so glad that someone is so upfront about business profit and time and energy and all. I live in Astoria, and my room is completely overtaken by things and packaging and at night I get very sick of it all in my space.

    I think your work is beautiful and the detail and hard work will pay off later, in a big way.

    Best of luck with family and your work,
    Faith
    (on etsy, the hidden library)

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  9. I just found your blog and sorry to hear you are suspending your etsy shop! Give yourself some slack though as far as being a perfectionist and just remember you are doing your art/craft because you are passionate about it:) It will all work out in the long run!!

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